


Alien's Didn't Build the Pyramids, I Asked Them They Said No

by silver_moon_howler



Series: Domestic Gotham because Why Not? [4]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Domestic Gotham, M/M, Only in Gotham, Protective Jason Todd, The Question is Definitely a Communist, Tim Drake Has a Crush, Tim Drake is Red Robin, Tim Drake is an Uber Nerd, Tim Drake-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:22:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26367139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silver_moon_howler/pseuds/silver_moon_howler
Summary: Tim had never see another vigilante in Gotham that was't in his family.*Tim has a puppy crush for The Question. And the Question is irritated by this teenager swooping and bothering him while he's trying to break into this house.*The Question is thirty-fourJason Todd is twenty sevenTim Drake is sixteen_________This is not an underage ship, this a one sided nerd crush that does not involve any romantic relationship.
Relationships: One Sided Tim Drake/The Question, Tim Drake & Jason Todd
Series: Domestic Gotham because Why Not? [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1893412
Comments: 6
Kudos: 106





	Alien's Didn't Build the Pyramids, I Asked Them They Said No

Tim hadn’t seen many other vigilantes in Gotham. Something about Bruce’s manic paranoia that made the others too terrified to step foot in the city limits unless they were directly related to him-and that hadn’t worked for Koriand’r when she was briefly married to Dick. Maybe it was the filth of the place, the streets seemed to radiate with an insanity you could feel pumping in your veins. An oppressive infection that you just know would lead to your death, or your plunge off the deep end. That’s what Kon suggested anyways, because nobody else in Gotham seemed to notice the presence much to Superboy’s utter bafflement. 

Where was Tim heading with this, oh right...other vigilantes. Was the Question really a vigilante, Tim asked himself. The man seemed like a vigilante, he was currently crouched over Roman Sionis’ back window with a lock pick perched artfully between his fingers. But Tim had never heard a grown vigilante sing bubblegum bitch under his breath. Scratch that, Tim had definitely heard Dick singing that song while kicking Neo-natzi’s skulls in, but the Question and Nightwing were two completely different people. Dick was his dorky older brother, the Question was a covert operative that picked apart corporate conspiracy theories and lay it all out on a floppy disc to send to the news. Tim watched the vigilante continue to pick apart Roman’s lock before he stepped in,  
“I don’t think you want to do that,” Tim called out. The Question stumbled to his feet, dropping the lock pick as he thrust his hands up in the air. He narrowed his eyes at Time,  
“You’re the Red Robin?” Tim preened at the recognition,  
“Black Mask’s whole house is as secure as the white house. I’m surprised you’ve gotten this far.” The place on the Question’s mask where his eyebrows should be quirked,  
“It’s a good thing I’ve been able to get into the white house.” He tossed the tail of his coat back, crouching down to begin picking the lock again. Tim felt his breath stutter in his chest. 

Tim leaned against the wall,  
“You’re the conspiracy theory guy, aren’t you?” The Question frowned,  
“I don’t do Conspiracy theories, most of the time they’re harmful to minorities or used to reap hate in shaky political climates.” Tim rocked on the heels of his feet, “Come on, you’re telling me that you’re not an ‘aliens built the pyramids’ kind of guy?” The Question snorted, “How insulting, imagine if you put centuries worth of effort into the marvel of architecture and a teenager in spandex said someone else built it, aliens had no part in building any terran buildings...except maybe the Denver Airport.” Tim frowned, “How do you know that?”  
“Because I asked J’on, he was very confused by the idea of aliens coming down to build something for humans.” 

Tim craned his neck to look in the window, “So what are you looking for?” the question grumbled under his breath, “Listen kid, your father said I had free range over this case while he’s helping Montoya with the Cadillac forgery rings.” Tim slumped to the floor, crossing his legs,  
“Well Batman also told me to watch the city in case of suspicious activity, I don’t know about you but this seems pretty suspicious.” The Question flicked his hand lazily, “Go away child, I have no time for your Questions.” Tim should be angered by the threat, he should put off but really he found himself ten times more fascinated with the Question. 

Tim opened his mouth to answer when gunshots echoed through the estate. Roman shot up from his bed, the black mask sculpted to his face.  
“Oh my god,” Tim snickered, “It really is his actual face.” The Question grumbled, pulling a pistol out of his own coat pocket.  
“Wait, wait,” Tim scrambled forward to grab the Question’s arm, “You’re not allowed to use guns in Gotham.” The Question’s blank face stared at Tim, “...Your brother uses guns, I’ve met him, he’s been feeding into the capitalist agenda of the NRA for years.” Tim tapped his foot impatiently, “They’re all filled with rubber bullets recently, and he’s only allowed to use the actual body of the gun because he’s family.” The Question folded his arms, “Funny, is there any way I could needle my way into your family?” Tim’s heart leaped into his throat, “Hah ha,” he stuttered, “Very funny, unless you plan on marrying Nightwing I don’t think you could manage to woe any of us,” he clicked his mouth shut. The Question shrugged, “If he’s into that thing,” he joked, grabbing Tim by the arm to yank him down. They bound across Roman’s estate and down into the outer limits of Gotham. The Question sighed, “I don’t suppose one of your brothers could come pick us up?” Tim’s face burned red, he was panting now but he could only focus on the fact that the Question was touching his arm. Vaguely he could see Bruce finding them out here, he would see through Tim in a second and kick the Question out of Gotham no questions. 

“Yeah,” Tim licked his dry lips, “Ah, give me a minute.” He pulled out a communicator, “..Red, are you there?”  
“What is it baby bird,” Jason grunted into the speaker, the sound of gunshots were firing in the distance, “I’m kind of busy?” Tim cleared his throat,  
“I’ve got the Question here and Black Mask is shooting at our heads.” Jason paused, “Timmy...what the fuck are you doing hanging out with the Question?” Tim frowne ,  
“Is that your most important question right now, because I’m being shot at!” He could hear Jason shrugging with that stupid smirk, “So am I baby bird, give me a second,” Tim heard a woman grunting and her skull connecting with the concrete, “I’ll be over in a second, I just gotta jack a car.”  
“You can’t-”  
“Listen Timmy if you want to be saved you’re going to have to deal with it.” Tim hung up, tossing his communicator into his lap, “My brother will be here in a minute,” Tim promised. 

“Was that your brother,” the Question asked. Tim colored red, “Yay, he’s on his way.” This seemed to satisfy the Question as he settled into the grass, where they had hidden themselves away from Roman’s men. Tim hugged his legs, curled as close as he could into himself to prevent touching the Question. “Hey kid,” the Question whispered, “Are you aware of the benefits of moss and fern gardens for global warming.” Tim felt like he was going to swallow his tongue, “I’m not sure that it actually…” The Question shook his head, “It’s true real estate agencies are actively trying to stop further developments in favor of the cheaper grass alternative.” Tim poked his head out of his shell, “Yeah?”  
“It’s true I tried to write a paper on it but the owner of Mega Home threw me off the San Francisco bridge.” Tim’s eyes shined, “Really?” 

Jason found them sitting under a tree by the side of the road. He rolled down the window,  
“Baby Bird, what have I told you about hanging out with kooks?” Tim hung his head, “To only talk to them if they’re wearing bat symbols.” The Question, who had warmed up to Tim exponentially raised his hand, “I’d be willing to put a bat symbol on my chest if I get to talk to this nerd further.” Jason stared the Question down unimpressed, “B has a file about you in the computer, there are no weaknesses listed and he claims you have the ability to take out everyone in the justice league.” The Question opened the car door with a shrug, “Not true, I couldn’t take down Batman...probably..” Jason glared at Tim, “Sit in the front kid, I don’t want you back there with him.” 

When the Question had been dropped off in one of the family’s safe homes, Jason insisted he take Tim back to his apartment.  
“Jason...I think I maybe have a tiny crush on that guy,” Tim admitted. Jason laughed, “Sure you do, kid. Stop messing around.” Tim shook his head, “No, you don’t understand. I want to marry that man, he talked about how capitalism ruined modern art for a solid hour and then completely changed the topic to talk about ritualistic body modification compared to cosmetic body modification for another hour.” Jason’s face fell, “If he lays a hand on you I’ll shoot his head, you’re sixteen!” Tim crossed his arms, “I know, it’s just a little puppy crush, it’s not even romantic.” Jason chuckled, “You like the weirdest people, Baby Bird.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you have a prompt leave a comment. If you'd like to see a Tim/Question romantic relationship leave a comment. I forgot the Question existed and then I was reading DC headcannons and I was like, oh shit that guy exists. He used to be my favorite Justice league character. 
> 
> Leave your kodus or appreciation it feeds the eldritch abomination in me.


End file.
